Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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