What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
