Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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