You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
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Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
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That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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