Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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