I love black thongs
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
