dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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