I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
