Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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