We won't sleep together?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
