dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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