so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I need to sanitize my soul.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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