Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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