Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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