Nicole vs. Life
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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