he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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