On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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