I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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