I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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