I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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