He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
