69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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