the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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