no you cant smoke seaweed
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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