saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
