is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
