On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
