hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
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My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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