I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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