There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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