Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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