I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
