Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
