I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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