Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
