Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
