Your mouth is God's brothel.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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