How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize