Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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