sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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