Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
