It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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