my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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