Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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