trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
