I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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