I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I should be sponsored by Trojan
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Randomize
