we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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