This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
