You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
