And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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