North Korea, Best Korea!
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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