If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
