they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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