Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
