Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize