the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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