do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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