Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
