She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
