How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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