wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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