thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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