maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
